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Comments from darthel0101
| Date | Story title | Comment |
|---|---|---|
| 2012-08-13 06:00:15 | CAW 12: Mr Phillips and Miss Jasmine | Cute with a number of twists to keep the reader guessing. I enjoyed reading it. |
| 2012-08-18 12:09:57 | The Existence - Chapter 1 | I know, coming from an RPG environment is hard to escape the descriptions before you build the story, but sometimes ya gotta skip so that the audience doesn't get lost before you get started. In THIS one, you didn't even get started before you ENDED - bad form. |
| 2012-08-19 11:51:28 | Swinging in the Neighborhood Chapter 31 A Star Guides our Souls | Wonderful story - wonderful telling Keep walking your path and following your heart. |
| 2012-08-20 09:42:18 | Divine Justice: Conner's completion | learn a few facts - such as how bras are sized. you used 26B, changed 20D to 36D, and commented on growing the 26B to 20C. Those are more than grammar issues, those show a lack of basic understanding about your topic and when a reader runs into those oddities, it can really throw the reading off. |
| 2012-09-03 04:35:39 | Modern Mage - Chapter 14 | THAT is not fair. This cliffhanger is just too much. Your story is already recognized as having multiple installments, COMPLETE a circle before ending it and going to the next. |