Depressive times

Hi Everyone, it's me
I wish I had a great answer for why I haven't logged in lately. I don't know why but the last few weeks i just start crying. I think of Derikk , how unfair it was to lose him like I did. I went home to Germany rekindled some old friendships, one who wanted more than a friend. I politely told him no. Bry and I talked every night when we could even if it was like Anna I'm really really busy in the ER. I understand this , but still it hurts and frustrates me. James and the girls want Christmas here. Mindy wants us all to load the jeeps and come to her for Christmas. That one really confused me. So of course I asked why she wanted this. The look she gave me made me cry. She feels at my home James and the girls are more a part of my life than hers. I told her how could she ever even think this. We like friends do at times had some harsh words. I told her fine. I would get Bry to get Christmas off, He is the senior ER doc, so that comes with it's privileges. Then she hugged me and cried and said no, she was just being petty and jealous so we cried and talked and just held each other. So for me whatever she decides I will abide by. Though being in your home ( the basement is their home. rather than a hospital environment. We got through that and so it's settled for now, Christmas here, with a 3 day pass for her. Plus i told them to send the nurse to my house and I would pay it if her insurance does not. So Merry Christmas and Happy new year to all of friends here on xhamster, With peace and joy and love of the season, Anna