Build a relationship with vulnerability

When you hear the word vulnerability, what comes to mind? So many of the people I talked to about this admit that they equate vulnerability with weakness. And that makes sense in a world that prizes strength and certainty and independence. But I know that being vulnerable is an act of courage, and it will bolster your resilience. To lean into vulnerability, you'll need to get a little more comfortable with uncertainty. You'll need to admit that you don't always have the answers, and you'll need to ask for help when you need it. Vulnerability invites others in. It helps you build a web of support and resilience. One way to practice leaning into vulnerability is by sharing your stories. When you can speak about the challenges you're facing, not only do you give others permission to do the same, but you also invite others to show up for you and to remind you that you're not alone in your challenges. I worked with the founder, let's call him Jeff, who was trying to raise money for his company. Jeff had 50 meetings with 50 investors and Jeff got 50 rejections. As I'm sure you can imagine, Jeff felt wildly dejected, but he put on a brave face, and he told everyone in his life that he was fine. When I asked Jeff why he wasn't sharing his disappointment with his loved ones, he told me that he didn't want to look weak or incapable. Jeff and I talked about vulnerability and how important it would be as he started his company to lean on those around him. Eventually, he admitted to some friends and mentors that he was struggling. And you know what happened? They rallied around him. A fellow founder friend reminded Jeff that she took 70 meetings with investors before getting her first yes, a mentor set Jeff up with another few investor meetings and coached him on what he might do differently, and Jeff's partner reminded him that he's a rock star, whether the investors could see it or not. Jeff felt re-energized for another round of meetings, and eventually he got the yes he was looking for. It might not have happened if he hadn't let himself be vulnerable. I want you to think about one area of your life where you tend to avoid being vulnerable. It might be in your romantic relationship with friends or at work. Reflect what might feel scary about being vulnerable in this part of your life. Hiding beneath the fear of vulnerability might be a fear of judgment or a fear of rejection or change. Choose one small step that you can take to lean into your vulnerability. Maybe you share a struggle with a friend, admit a mistake at work or try something new that scares you. As you take the step, notice how it feels. What do you learn about yourself and others in the process? Vulnerability is a key that can unlock resilience. Of course, there will be times when it feels risky or uncomfortable. Remember that vulnerability is not about oversharing or burdening others, it's about thoughtfully sharing your authentic experiences in safe supportive environments.