Bringing in Migrants, How Stumpy got his nick name
Bringing in Migrants, How Stumpy got his nick name
It was that dark bit of the night just afore dawn, you couldn’t see sod all which suited we just fine. The slight sea swell rocked our boat the “Fair Maid” as we approached the land and the engine just burbled on tick over as we crept in, normally it had a big diesel but Denzil fitted a straight six petrol out of an old combine harvester as he were to tight fisted to pay up when he blew the diesel up trying to outrun the coastguard.
Radar showed Trellewin bay coming up, “Nearly there lads,” I shouted down in to the fish hold where about forty blokes was crammed in.
One or two popped their heads out to see the faint outline of the surf on the sandy beach.
“You want the A30 road for London,” I reminded them as Dan pulled the dinghy up on it halyard so they could climb aboard.
We was decent about it see, no casting they adrift off Calais and pocketing the cash, no we landed they on the Scilly Isles.
Least old Dan did. Forty odd on em climbed in dinghy designed for ten and off they went into the dark.
Which left half a dozen girls, we told they iffen they stuck swimsuits on we could sneak they ashore at Mousehole a couple at a time as plod would be too busy eyeing up their tits and that to worry if they was immigrants.
Course that was bollocks, they’d get picked up quick smart but at least they was on mainland not a poxy uninhabited island two miles from the next poxy uninhabited island ten miles from the next poxy inhabited island. It were like survival of the fittest, we landed several hundred and there hadn’t been none caught. Few was washed ashore off of Lands End mind.
Didn’t give a fuck really, Denzil were so racist he even hated folks from Devon let alone somewhere foreign.
He were down in fish hold sorting the birds out with swimsuits. These was birds what usually wore they Burkas, head to toe tent things where you couldn’t see nothing but their eyes.
“Oi Jethro,” he shouts, “Look at the fucking tits on this one.”
“Fuck off,” I said, “Keep yer mits off.”
The unmistakable sound of someone being smacked round the head wafted up from the fish hold.
“The bloody bitch slapped me,” Denzil shouted.
“Leave her tits alone then,” I shouted.
“I never touched her tits, I was doing a Donald Trump,” he shouted back.
“What you been grabbin' pussy?” I asked.
“What I said were’nt it.” he replied.
“Maybe you should have asked first,” I joked.
“I did,” he replied, “She said “Fuck off.” Speaks Engish all sudden like.”
I couldn’t leave the wheel house, Ross had to hang about in engine room ready to start the engine if Coast Guard showed up, so I told Denzil to bring the mouthy one up on deck.
Even in the red glow of the wheelhouse lights and in her underwear I could see she had a rack to die for, “No speako Englaise eh?” I queried.
“Fuck off,” she replied.
“I guess she only knows one word.” I says.
“Bloody bitch, give me the right horn then slaps me chops,” Denzil explained eloquently.
“Well give her one up the ass like her uncles do,” I suggested
“No, I will not let you!” she replied.
“Look dearie,” I explained, “Getting fucked is an occupational hazard for illegals, if we don’t the plod will.”
“So what, you fuck me and throw me over the side?” she asked.
“Well it don’t make no sense the other way round does it?” I laughed, “You hurt Denzil’s feelings not fancying him.”
“And you Mister Captain, will you fuck me too?” she asked.
“Think I’ll pass” I said. ”No offence.
“But you let this servant fuck me?” she asked.
“Fuck you,” says Denzil, “You ought to be begging for my spunk.”
“He’s a racist,” I said, “Makes Hitler look like a Liberal.”
“Who is this Hitler?” she asked.
“Button it and spread your legs,” I hissed.
“But I am virgin!” she pleaded.
“Oh for fucks sake,” Denzil, “I fucking love bustin' hymens.”
The sea was like glass, so clear you could you coud see the reflection of the light from Long ships Lighthouse thirty miles away shimmering like gold, or like a bloody searchlight.
“Don’t be stupid, hang on to the rail and let Denzil bang you,” I suggested.
“No!” she insisted. You could see tears in her eyes. I helped by pulling her knickers down. Denzil had his cock out and I helped her grip the coaming round the compass binacle and had her bend over.
This time she let Denzil stick a finger or two up her.
I pulled her bra off her tits and let them loose. Her nipples were inches long, she was seriously horny.
“Fuck’s sake Jethro, she leaking like a fucked stern gland,” Denzil informed me.
Next off the bitch shuddered and jerked against the compass binacle as Denzil wopped his meat up her pussy, “Aw!” she gasped.
“Well that’s it, you ain’t no virgin no more,” I laughed, “Any more virgins down there Denzil?”
“Why’s that Jethro, you horny?” He asked as he humped the girl right by me.
“Course I am you dick head,” I replied.
He was really going for it, twisting her tits and nips as he slammed into her puss from behind.
“Bet you’re glad you came,” I sad encouragingly, “Usually you’d a bin fucked by forty blokes by now and not decent white blokes neither.”
She weren’t listening, she mightn’t have wanted it but she were certainly making the most of it.
That was when Denzil the filthy bastard made his mistake. Instead of wiping his dick on a rag like a normal human being he grabs the poor bitch a bit rough and forces her head down.
“Clean my dick up,” he says and grabbing her jaw to get her mouth open he rammed his dick in her mouth.
It were what they call a life changing moment, soon as he got his dick in there she fucking bit down on it, hard.
“Fucks sake, she fucking bit me!” he wailes.
Well if you caught a crocodile you don’t stick your head in its gob do you?
“Stop it, let fucking go,” he protested, he tried smacking her head with his fist but couldn’t get the angle, he couldn’t reach the fire axe or flare gun and me pissing me self laughing couldn’t have helped.
It was so funny, until I saw the blood, she was chewing his cock off. “Agghhh,” he screamed and just about fainted but still she kept her gob clamped around his dick trying to chew it off.
Finally he reached the fashlight and whacked her on the back of the head. Down she went taking the last four inches of Denzil’s cock with her.
He stared at the deflated stump in disbelief.
“Fucks sake Jethro,” he says, “Fucks sake.”
“I reckon your days of fuckin’ birds are over mate,” I says helpfully, “You ever thought of turning queer?”
“Fuck off, get me an ambulance!” he wailed, “ Put me cock tip on ice or summat.”
“I have swallowed it,” says the girl.
“I’ll fuckin’ kill you,” Jethro whined.
“Best swim for it love,” I says and next thing she’s out the wheelhouse and over the side, striking out for the nearest island.
“Mind the wheel mate,” I says and I goes down the fish hold, “Your mate just bit my mate’s cock off,” I says, “Her’s swum for it and I reckon you lot better follow quick smart.”
I left em to it, splash, splash, four splashes and a later tentative knock on the wheel house door, “I cannot swim.”
“Then fucking drown,” Denzil said, “Fucks sake.”
“How’s about I sell you a life jacket?” I says.
“But I have no money,” she says.
“Look, I’m fucking dying here,” Denzil says as the oily rag pressed against his groin slowly turned red with blood.
“Only ten quid, I’ll pay you two quid a fuck,” I says reasonably.
“You are a cruel man, like my father, do you have any wives?” she said admiringly.
“Look I’m fucking dying,” says Denzil.
“No way,” I says, “Don’t want to be tied down.”
“Too fucking ugly to pull,” Denzil whines, “Get on the R/T I’m fucking dying here!”
“I should be honoured to be your wife,” she says.
“No, soon as we get Denzil sorted immigration will arrest you,” I explained.
“Then throw him over the side instead!” she suggested.
“I’m fucking tempted,” I explained, “Here take the life jacket, you owe me five fucks remember.”
“I will pay you.” she says and she lets me strap the life jacket on her and she jumps in the water and sort of half dog paddles after her mates.
“I’m fucking dying remember,” Denzil whined.
Just then we spotted Dan returning. “Full ahead both!” I shouted down the voice pipe to the engine room.
“What you mean both,” Ross replied, “We only got half an engine let alone two.”
I heard him crank the engine, as in with a starting handle, electric start was fucked, and then it started roaring. He stuck it in gear, yes only fishing boat with four speed and reverse gearbox north of Bunos Airies and off we sodded to rescue Dan.
“Denzil had his knob end bit off,” I shouted.
“Bout time filthy bastard,” Dan replied as he come alongside. he hopped over the gunwales and secured the dingy so it towed astern, and off we buggered towards Newlyn.
Twenty minutes later helicopter arrived and lowered a paramedic.
“How the fuck did that happen,” he asked when Denzil showed him the remaining stump of his cock.
“Caught in a crab’s pincer,” I ventured.
“Got the tip?” the bloke asked.
“No, she swallowed it,” Denzil replied which confused the bloke even more.
You could see he thought we was a bunch of queers who had played too rough, anyway off went Denzil winched up into the Helo and off to Penzance General Hospital.
We put in to Newlyn in daylight, moored up, saw the harbourmaster, “Engine trouble, never caught nothing.” I says.
“Right,” he says, knowingly.
That were it. Or so I thought.
It must have been two or three months later this bird come looking for me, not bad looking all things considered, bit dark skinned maybe.
“I owe you for my life jacket,” she says.
“No, don’t worry about it, it was only worth a tenner.” I says as I remembered that night.
“You said five fucks remember,” she said.
Now its one thing to say it to impress your mates, bit different in the street when your neighbours are ear wigging.
“Er,” I says.
“I shall pay you now,” she says and pushes past me into my cottage. “You are strong man, hard ruthless, brave, You will be a good husband, I shall have your babies.”
“No, I’m a bloody coward,” I assured her, but her top was hanging on the back of my armchair, her bra strap undone and she weren’t taking no for an answer.
She slipped her pants down and sat on me settee. She spread her legs, “Look Virgin still.”
I dropped me trousers, which was daft as I had to hitch them up again to bolt the door and stop Mrs Penhaligon from next door wandering in, but soon I was as bollock naked as she was, just me socks and sea boots left on.
“You’re beautiful,” I cooed.
“Don’t lie, you will fuck anything,” she said knowingly. I kissed her. Held her in my arms and when the moment was right she guided my cock into her. It hurt, she bit her lip but soon she was used to it and started to smile. I tell you that debt were wiped out by tea time. Turned out being pregnant would help her immigration status.
Kept me dick well away from her teeth mind.
And Denzil? With hardly any cock left he had to have one of they cock implants like trans sexuals has, like he has a permanent hard on. Lucky bastard.